1Coming to you outside of our regularly scheduled pre-Shabbat post this week because it just so happens that today is one of the most somber days on the Jewish calendar, Tisha b’Av, the 9th of Av. This is a day in the calendar that marks many destructive moments in Jewish history, both ancient and contemporary.
During the services for this day, we read the book of Lamentations, a text so vivid and harrowing in its accounting of the destruction of Jerusalem that we read it while sitting on the floor in darkened spaces, for it is not a text that should be read with any semblance of comfort.
It is a book that speaks of babies dying at their mothers’ breasts, people lying dead in the streets with sword wounds, and a God that has abandoned us. It’s so jarring and full of emotional whiplash that when reading it, you’re left wondering, is this real? It somehow reads like a portal that opens into thousands of years ago and today’s front page.
Over these last couple of months, we have lost something in our dialogue about what is going on in Israel and Gaza. We’re anguishing over the exact definition of genocide. We’re scrutinizing the wording of posts from religious organizations seeing if they strike the right balance between definitely blaming Hamas but also making room for the continued mishandlings of the Israeli government. We’re splitting hairs on what percentage of people have spoken out about lack of food in Gaza in addition to other worldwide famines. It often feels good to do this…and I am not sure it’s so healthy.
Remember, many things can be true at once. Our understanding of geopolitics need not be a zero sum game. You can be a particularist who still has universalist tendencies.
Because most problematically, we are all finding it so easy to slide into that age-old enemy of the Jewish people, infighting. We are hating each other again because we’re oh so good at it. As always, I am left wondering, don’t enough people hate us already? Can’t we try a little harder to hate a little less?
A day like today, the 9th of Av is an auspicious time to ponder this. The theological answer given throughout the sources as to what caused the events of the destruction of the 2nd temple is sinat hinam, baseless hatred. We hated each other for foolish reasons.
A seminal story is told in the Talmud about the event that triggered this destruction2 In the story, a man who had been slighted by another ends up informing on him to the Roman authorities which ultimately leads to this destruction. That moment of informing/slandering, from one Jew on another is picked up on by Reb Yaakov Yosef of Polnoye, one of the chief students of the Baal Shem Tov. In his commentary to the book of Exodus3, he shares the following:
That which caused the diminishing and eventual exile of the people was speaking poorly about one another. Just like there were informers in the Egypt saga and the story of Kamtza (the story linked above), in the latest exile, we also felt this when one person’s transgression causes everyone pain. Nonetheless, there is an effective antidote to this in the name of unity and togetherness, which is the ability of each of us to root out this type of rot in our fellow. We do this by modeling it on ourselves. When we do this, it spreads to others and shows them the way.
His insight is penetrating. We have this tendency to speak poorly of others. When we feel slighted by them, for whatever reason, we might be inclined to become the ‘informant.’ After all, when we feel wounded, it’s human to want to wound someone else. But here, Reb Yaakov Yosef pushes us to find our better angels. In what way can you try to work on your own stuff so that maybe your work will push someone else to do the same?
It’s concise and may strike you as simplistic, but I think it’s a powerful reminder. We have lost the thread on how to be in community since this war began. We’ve got to start righting the ship, and this goes both ways. That works starts with each and everyone one of us. The next time you find yourself rankled by someone’s words, instead of lashing out and writing your own counter, look in the mirror and see where your hatred is festering and root that out. Who knows what it may inspire?
A good retelling here: https://www.sefaria.org/sheets/331946?lang=bi
Tzofnat Paneach Va’era 1:226
Good insights on human nature! Hurt people, hurt people! It’s also difficult for those of us who defend Israel to find fault with them, when necessary. What’s going on now is sad, on many levels, and we want the truth, and to somehow find a path towards peace. Dienu. Sending hugs and love to you, and your family. ❤️✡️ Zeta