They both were tough and memorable in very different ways. Coach Woods was my first baseball coach when I was brought into a local little league team to add some diversity because…I was Jewish. We turned out to be a pretty awesome team, winning a few championships, one that even resulted in my father nearly getting into a fistfight with an opposing team’s parent and the police getting called. That’s a good story for another time.
In addition to being a skilled tactician and a great communicator, Coach Woods was the right kind of tough. He know how to challenge you in ways that made you want to be better for the sake of a larger goal, not for the sake of fear. He pushed and he yelled but whenever he did it, you knew he was trying to bring out the best version of you.
Contrast that with Coach Carter (no, not that one) in high school. Admittedly, my high school baseball team was awful, not given enough support from the athletic department, and woefully understaffed, which brings us to Coach Carter. I actually think he was a football coach who somehow got brought in to coach the baseball team.
He was tough too but not in a successful way. He was mean. He yelled a lot. He punished us with a lot of calisthenics. It never came across as toughness for the sake of our betterment but more as toughness for the sake of being punitive.
That’s the thing about anger, especially when channeled through a leader. It’s fairly transparent. You can usually tell what type of toughness it is.
Moses was a leader that struggled with anger. His journey was filled with ups and downs from the beginning. He never quite managed to figure out how to consistently harness how to be tough. One of the classic examples comes in this week’s portion when we read the following in Numbers 20:8-12:
You and your brother Aaron take the rod and assemble the community, and before their very eyes order the rock to yield its water. Thus you shall produce water for them from the rock and provide drink for the congregation and their beasts.”
Moses took the rod from before God as he had been commanded.
Moses and Aaron assembled the congregation in front of the rock; and he said to them, “Listen, you rebels, shall we get water for you out of this rock?”
And Moses raised his hand and struck the rock twice with his rod. Out came copious water, and the community and their beasts drank.
But God said to Moses and Aaron, “Because you did not trust Me enough to affirm My sanctity in the sight of the Israelite people, therefore you shall not lead this congregation into the land that I have given them.”
After the people complained bitterly about their lack of water, God responded to Moses and Aaron to slake their thirst by way of drawing water from a rock. The end of the text makes it clear that they didn’t perform the task as intended. Their punishment is a big one. They don’t get to bring people into the promised land.
What they did wrong is up for a lot of theorizing. Some argue that they were never told to strike the rock. Others say it’s because Moses didn’t have enough faith to only strike it once. Many though look to the condemnation of the people in the Moses and Aaron speak to them. After all, it’s pretty harsh and God didn’t ask them to say anything to the community.
Reb Levi Yitzchak of Berditchev offers a penetrating analysis on this question. He notes that whether you side with the argument that they shouldn’t have called the people rebellious or whether Moses shouldn’t have struck the rock, it all stems from the same cause:
Rebuking people, especially the Jewish people, calling them to order, can be done by two different methods. Both methods are designed to make the people carry out the will of the Creator. One approach stresses the greatness of the Lord, and presents this as the reason why not obeying commands is a non starter. It reminds the people that their very souls originate immediately beneath the Creator’s throne in heaven. It reminds people of their duty to provide God with the pleasure of observing God’s directives. When the people listen to this kind of rebuke their hearts will surely be moved in the right direction and they will realize that it is incumbent upon them to accept the yoke of heaven.
The other method of admonishing people stresses the results of their failure to respond to the rebukes along with the penalties in store for them. It is customary that when using this latter dimension, the preacher relies on the feelings of shame in every individual causing him to turn away from doing evil and do good instead.
The difference between these two methods is that the first method relies on reminding the subject of his high rank among the creatures God has created, a fact that makes it their duty not to go astray. This former method, through constantly pointing out Israel’s great virtues etc., will likely evoke in the listener a desire to conduct himself in a way that will justify the compliments paid to him by the person doing the rebuking. The person using the method of harping on the wrongs the people are guilty of all the time, cannot at the same time arouse the feeling that they are basically highly valued people in God’s eyes, and need only to correct a flaw that has been brought to their attention on this occasion.The person who rebukes the sinner on this occasion, by acknowledging that though accused of an error, whether committed through negligence or even knowingly, he is still considered as part of God’s people, i.e. part of the elite of the human species, will evoke reciprocal feelings in those whom he addresses. Moses, on this occasion, chose to use the method of belittling the people and to shame them. It was therefore in keeping with this approach that he struck the rock, symbolizing how an obstinate rock has to be treated.
The Kedushat Levi limits his argument to a group of Jews but the wisdom is much more universal. When you are tasked with leading a group, inevitably failure will arise. How you choose to communicate with that group can be the line between your success and failure as a leader.
To be clear, there is room for passion in leaders. There is even a place for anger. Learning how to wield that anger is key. Moses fails here not because he gets mad at the people but because he chooses to shame them instead of reminding them of their potential greatness.
That’s also why the punishment is so severe. There was so much potential in this moment. To be a leader of people presents a massive opportunity to help them learn something about themselves. In this story, Moses fails, but it’s not one incident. It speaks to a larger flaw of his.
Leading a group into a new land would require a high level of patience because again, failure would ensue. The person who would succeed in that role would need to be someone who could remind the people that when they failed, there was something larger than them guiding their purpose. It couldn’t be someone who would fly off the handle and shame them. Those lessons, for bad and for good, live with you.
I remember them both. I don’t play baseball much anymore but when I do, there are still foundational lessons I remember from Coach Woods. That, to me, is the sign of a compelling leader. When it comes to Coach Carter, all I remember is the anger. All this took place over 20 years ago. When a leader can remind you, even in dark moments, that you can grow, those lessons are eternal.
Shabbat Shalom and Happy Weekend
Adir
Always, insightful! When one becomes a parent, one becomes a leader! There are productive ways to rear a child, and less so! I have no fear, you will do well! Shabbat Shslom, and hugs and love.💙✡️Zeta
Hi, Adir. Another wonderful writing! I have an additional theory, if I may, and this relates to a baseball story, too. When my oldest was in Little League one spring, his coach was a blend of your two coaches. He was tough and made them go through tough practices (sliding practice!). I think he was partially punitive, but also wanted success. But another thing happened. One day in the middle of the season, there was a game and he was not there. I asked his wife how he was doing (was he ill?). No, she said. He was at the race track, betting on the horses! I was furious! I had no problem excusing a coach from a game (after all, he is a volunteer - I coached youth soccer for several years and get it). But to go to the track! And, in fact, he never showed up to another game for the rest of the season. A few of us parents split coaching duties for the rest of the games.
So, it's one thing to be a leader and give direction (positive or negative) to a group. But a leader has to "walk the walk", too, and be a respected person. Moses, with his anger and other issues, had become a less than good role model, in fact, inviting people to rebel against him. It's not just how to lead, but how you conduct yourself, too. God must have seen this in him, too. Thank you.
Shabbat Shalom,
Marc