New Year, New Me

...or something like that

I have now been writing this Substack since April of 2021, which feels like a lifetime ago. In the grand scheme of the world, it has been. In my own life, that has also been the case as we have welcomed a new child to our family with another one soon to arrive, with great thanks to modern medicine and the Ancient of Days. The work that goes into this is truly a labor of love.

Don’t get me wrong. I consider learning Torah a sacred privilege. Every time I sit with a text, I hear whispers of its authors and all those that have studied it before. I have written pieces here in deep sadness, overwhelming joy, and everything in between. 187 pieces of my heart and soul live out there somewhere in the ether of the internet. Thanks for that gift, Al Gore.

When I first set out, I was still working in the pulpit. Because of that and the sometimes double use of my materials, I never felt comfortable offering a subscription model. Now that I am out of the pulpit, I have shifted my thinking. To be clear, you can always access this free of charge because Torah is for the people, but I am also officially opening up a subscription model if my writing strikes you as worth a subscription.

You can pay $8 per month or $80 per year to support my work. If you choose to do so, I would be incredibly honored.

Because it’s me and because this is happening here, I can’t end this message without a little bit of Torah.

Our parshah this week picks up where last week’s cliffhanger ended. We join the intimate plea from Judah to his brother Joseph. He approaches him, vayigash, the name of the portion and we wonder, what is going to happen?

Our sages, ever the close readers also wonder. Why, they ask, does the Torah use that word to signal his approach instead of “he arrived, he came, or he entered?” One answer that resonates this week with this post comes from the Mei Hashiloach, Reb Mordechai Yosef Leiner, the great Rebbe of the Ishbitz dynasty.

He notes that Judah was really afraid in last week’s portion, so much so that despair began to creep in. Would this really work, he thought to himself? Yet, he draws close. That is the power of Judah, according to the Ishbitzer:

שאינו מיאש עצמו לעולם, אף כי יראה שיעבור עליו מה

He never fully despairs despite the fact that he fears what may befall him

Despite his worry, he continues. He doesn’t arrive by happenstance. He comes close with proper awe for this moment.

אליו היינו במעמקי לבו של יוסף עד שהיה מוכרח להתודע להם

This drawing near is not a spatial note but an emotional one. He comes toward the depths of Joseph’s heart such that Joseph will be forced to reveal himself to them

In other words, Judah had a hunch that this was Joseph and he needed to have his heart speak to his brother’s heart in order to really connect.

I don’t claim to be on the spiritual level of Judah but his approach is how I like to think of I come to you weekly. I learn and write with an open heart and hope that it speaks to your own. I look forward to many more years of learning and growing. I do not take your reading of this for granted.

I’ll keep drawing close if you promise to do the same.

Shabbat Shalom, Happy Weekend, and Happy New Year!