They’re not listening to me! Who or what do you picture? We all know this dynamic. Maybe it’s a child, a significant other, a student, or a coworker but the feeling of disillusionment when unheard is universal. What we forget in those moments of frustration and anger is how often we’re on the other side doing the whole not listening thing. We may even be the worst perpetrators of this when it comes to listening. to ourselves!
This dynamic is at play in our portion Va’era this week as Moses is relaying the messages of promise and hope to the Israelites in slavery in Egypt. In Exodus 6:9, we read the following in the immediate aftermath of all this redemptive goodness:
וַיְדַבֵּ֥ר מֹשֶׁ֛ה כֵּ֖ן אֶל־בְּנֵ֣י יִשְׂרָאֵ֑ל וְלֹ֤א שָֽׁמְעוּ֙ אֶל־מֹשֶׁ֔ה מִקֹּ֣צֶר ר֔וּחַ וּמֵעֲבֹדָ֖ה קָשָֽׁה׃ {פ}
But when Moses told this to the Israelites, they would not listen to Moses, their spirits crushed by cruel bondage.
How is that possible? Mired in the narrows of enslavement and given the gift of hope, the people are unable to hear the message because their spirits have been so depleted from their backbreaking labor. But even so, how could a deeply downtrodden person not feel uplifted when being told they’ll no longer be downtrodden?
This is the question that wracked the brains of commentators for generations. The easy answer that makes a certain amount of sense is that they were non-believers. Egyptian culture had sunk its teeth so far into them to render them lacking in the faith necessary to believe in God. There’s a vocal group of commentators that go in that direction. This theory feels tenuous. After all, this is the same group that hastily left in the middle of the night at God’s demands later on.
A better answer comes from Ramban:
רק שלא הטו אוזן לדבריו מקוצר רוח, כאדם שתקצר נפשו בעמלו, ולא ירצה לחיות רגע בצערו, מדעתו שירוח לו אחרי כן …ועבודה קשה, הוא הדוחק שהיו הנוגשים אצים בהם ולא יתנום לשמוע דבר ולחשוב בו:
They paid no attention to his words because of impatience of spirit, as a person whose soul is grieved on account of his misery does not want to live another moment in his suffering even though he knows that he will be relieved later… The “cruel bondage” was the pressure, for the taskmasters pressed upon them and hurried them [in their daily task], which gave them no chance to hear anything and consider it.
Referencing both rationales given, Ramban notes that a person that is so beleaguered by their oppressors simply doesn’t have it within them to keep suffering even if they’ve been told it’s ending soon. Part of that comes not just from their internal spirits but also the fact that the physical demands on them were so high that it impeded their ability to actually hear things.
This is also a feeling many of us know. When we’re so worn down that even good news doesn’t register. Some might call it a form of spiritual depression. In an environment where so much is demanded of us, we’re unable to see the positives.
So how can we respond when this situation rears its head? One possible answer comes from a powerful text written by Rabbi Kalonymus Kalman Shapira who served as the de facto Rabbi of the Warsaw Ghetto and was killed during the Holocaust. Known primarily for his collection of teachings called the Esh Kodesh, the following text comes from Hacsharat Ha’Avreichim, a piece he wrote directed primarily at young married men as a sort of “how to” for living life:
They had faith, and they were despondent, but their despondency and utter loss of hope did not result from a lack of faith. It came from the degree to which their spirits were crushed, for to believe a man need a strong sense of his self, and a soul with which to believe. But their sense of self was trampled and their souls melted.
In a similar vein to the Ramban piece above, Rabbi Shapira highlights that it wasn’t a lack of faith in God that caused them to not listen. What he adds though is key. It was a loss of self that prevented them from hearing. After all, how can you believe in the promise of future if you don’t even believe in yourself?
To that end, he sees the continuation of the narrative as the solution to this loss of self:
In order to reach these poor souls, Moshe and Aharon gave Israel the first sign and the last sign. Thus they all beheld the wonders of God, the God of Avraham, Isaac, and Jacob. They all bowed down in admission and acceptance before the God who saw their poverty, descending from the highest heights to save them from the lowest of depths. They spoke to each other, “could it be?” – besides themselves with wonderment and joy.
To shake them from their emotional and spiritual slumber, God used the plagues. Not only were they performed to inject fear into the hearts of the Egyptians but they were performed in order to activate the belief in the Israelites. On a normal day, they couldn’t be reached, so God used exceptional means to remind them of their standing in the world, as individual members of this larger group who had belief in a God that could reverse the very order of creation. In other words, they needed more than words. They needed to see to believe.
That serves as the antidote to this moribund state of being. To see the natural world change gave them a purpose again. Maybe I can’t see myself changing now but to see my externals shift gives me not just hope but in turn, a sense of self and autonomy again.
To me, that feels like something to replicate in the situations where find people not listening to us. How can we work with them to allow them to hear us? We have to remind them that their voices and their choices matter. When they can’t find themselves, we have to help remind them that they’re an integral part of something larger not just in words but with actions too. That is how we ignite the fire within them and allow them to be seen and us to be heard.
Shabbat Shalom and Happy Weekend!
Good thoughts to ponder! In this political climate of ours, there is no answer, but frustration! No one seems to listen.
On a personal level, sometimes when we are really down, listening is very difficult, and many times it does depends on who is talking. It always helps when one has faith, and believes there is a tomorrow, and something to look forward to. Shabbat Shalom ✡️Hugs and Love …❤️Zeta