Flip it and Reverse It

Knock on that Door

A job search requires a lot of mantras. You can do this. Your value isn’t tied into someone else’s hiring process. Be yourself. Those are just some of the pithy statements you have to say to yourself. Another one I have been focused on is anything can change in an instant.

Rejections that come with the click of a mousepad can just as easily be clicked into acceptance. There’s power in that. In my low moments when my energy is depleted, I remind myself that the next message in my inbox could just as easily flip the whole thing on its head. That has been buoying in trying times.

Finding that in this point in the Jewish calendar is also an important reminder. As the holiday of Purim has neared, I’ve seen countless pieces and posts from people wondering how we’re supposed to celebrate a holiday that is so strongly associated with joy and mirth with the backdrop of the continued war in Gaza casting a pall over our reality.

That is the exact purpose of Purim in my eyes. In a story in which we feel divine absence, stand on the precipice of annihilation, and still survive, Purim contains a potential energy that can serve as a fitting mindset to celebrate amid the darkness of the world.

The Purim story itself speaks to this dynamic as the story nears its end and the Jews of Shushan have made it. In the 1st verse of chapter 9 we read:

וּבִשְׁנֵים֩ עָשָׂ֨ר חֹ֜דֶשׁ הוּא־חֹ֣דֶשׁ אֲדָ֗ר בִּשְׁלוֹשָׁ֨ה עָשָׂ֥ר יוֹם֙ בּ֔וֹ אֲשֶׁ֨ר הִגִּ֧יעַ דְּבַר־הַמֶּ֛לֶךְ וְדָת֖וֹ לְהֵעָשׂ֑וֹת בַּיּ֗וֹם אֲשֶׁ֨ר שִׂבְּר֜וּ אֹיְבֵ֤י הַיְּהוּדִים֙ לִשְׁל֣וֹט בָּהֶ֔ם וְנַהֲפ֣וֹךְ ה֔וּא אֲשֶׁ֨ר יִשְׁלְט֧וּ הַיְּהוּדִ֛ים הֵ֖מָּה בְּשֹׂנְאֵיהֶֽם׃

And so, on the thirteenth day of the twelfth month—that is, the month of Adar—when the king’s command and decree were to be executed, the very day on which the enemies of the Jews had expected to get them in their power, the opposite happened, and the Jews got their enemies in their power.

That bolded phrase, וְנַהֲפ֣וֹךְ ה֔וּא, the upside down nature, is an elemental part of the day. Purim is a subversive story meant to get us to remember that in this topsy turvy world, anything can change in an instant. Every way we act on this day accentuates that. We wear costumes and masks, we act loudly, we eat a festive meal in the middle of the day, and we hope with deep passion that the pains that afflict our world can shift.

Rabbi Chayim Chaykl Levin, the Amdurer Rebbe in the late 18th century in Belarus had a similar thought in commenting on this verse

והנה הקב"ה מהמכה עצמה בורא רפואה (שמו"ר נ, ג), כי מחמת הסתרה תתאה שעל ידי זה עשו תשובה והבינו שיש עצם האור השי"ת ששם עלמא דחירות, וזהו מקרא מגילה, לשון התגלות, החכמה עילאה נתגלה להם שעבד חפשי מאדוניו (איוב ג, יט), ומחמת זה בא להם הגאולה. וז"ש (אסתר ט, א) ונהפוך הוא, פירוש מלשון התכסות, שנתהפך ההסכות וההסתרה והשיגו האור

“Before God afflicts the world, God creates the remedy.” Any concealment that befuddles a person in life is really an opportunity to do teshuvah. In uncovering this, one will find the essence of divine light which is really freedom. This is what the scroll of Esther is(Megillah) which comes from the language of revelation (hitgalut). Divine wisdom is revealed to us on this day like a slave being freed from its master. From this awareness, redemption is born. This is what it means when it says in Esther 9:1, “the upside down happened.” That language speaks of covering in that, that which is covered over and concealed is revealed as light.

Chayyim Va’chesed 429:3

In other words, the whole purpose of the day is to train yourself to see the world differently. Recognize that the things which you perceive as mysterious or concealed actually require you to dig a little beneath the surface. Once you do that, you might find that there is something revelatory and illuminated hiding there.

How you accomplish that is a second part of this. Because many people, when faced with such mystery, feel trapped. That also plays itself out earlier in the text, when Mordechai comes to Esther asking her to plead on behalf of the Jews. After hemming and hawing, Mordechai says to her in 4:14

כִּ֣י אִם־הַחֲרֵ֣שׁ תַּחֲרִ֘ישִׁי֮ בָּעֵ֣ת הַזֹּאת֒ רֶ֣וַח וְהַצָּלָ֞ה יַעֲמ֤וֹד לַיְּהוּדִים֙ מִמָּק֣וֹם אַחֵ֔ר וְאַ֥תְּ וּבֵית־אָבִ֖יךְ תֹּאבֵ֑דוּ וּמִ֣י יוֹדֵ֔עַ אִם־לְעֵ֣ת כָּזֹ֔את הִגַּ֖עַתְּ לַמַּלְכֽוּת׃

On the contrary, if you keep silent in this crisis, relief and deliverance will come to the Jews from another quarter, while you and your father’s house will perish. And who knows, perhaps you have attained to royal position for just such a crisis.”

In this moment, Mordechai is asking Esther to go out of her comfort zone and not be caught up in her worry about the moment. Or, as Rabbi Yechezkel Panet, the first Rebbe of the Deyzh Chasidic dynasty in his commentary allegorizes:

ומשל בזה לאחד שהלך במדבר והיו רודפים אותו חיות ולסטים ופגע בחצר המלך והיה מתיירא לדפוק על הדלת אח"כ נתיישב בעצמו כי רחמי המלך מרובים וטוב לו להמלט בית המל

It’s like a person who is running from wild beasts and bandits in the wilderness and they come across the courtyard of a local king. They’re afraid to knock because it could be seen as inappropriate. But finally they realize that the King’s mercies are great and it’s a good place to run toward.

Esther is that person. She feels stuck and is worried about what it might mean to stand up and act. But she remembers that in this moment, that’s the best thing to do. Similarly, many of us feel stuck, we’re being chased by someone or something that is causing us to question our actions.

In response, Purim tells us to knock on that door. Break it down if you have to. You never know what might be on the other side. It could be the exact opposite of what you think you see right in front of you.

It’s a two pronged approach that could benefit us all in this moment in life. We have to remind ourselves that beneath that which feels mysterious and concealed is the potential for growth and light. To get there though, we need to put in the work. We need to knock down that door. What’s on the other side might be something more joyous than you could’ve possibly imagined, and it could happen in an instant!

Shabbat Shalom and Happy Weekend